Tuesday, June 30th , 2048
How do you get to the Tolkien Baseball Hall of Fame?
Just hit 500 homers, get 3000 hits, win 300 games or perhaps just save 300 games. Not an easy task, is it? But occasionally it does happen — it happened to the gifted catcher Brutus *Trollbasher, who retired at the age of 42.
Brutus *Trollbasher was recently inducted into the coveted shrine of hardball heroes by the Baseball Writers Association. *Trollbasher was always a favorite of the beat writers — always quick with a quip and always willing to talk about the game — but that’s not why he got elected to the Hall of Fame. *Trollbasher played a good brand of baseball, too. He played in 3024 games, had 3636 hits, 670 home runs, 1899 RBIs and scored 2149 runs while batting .323 in his career.
Reminiscing about his life in baseball, *Trollbasher said it all began by hitting grand slam homers in the last of the ninth in his backyard and ended up in the Hall of Fame. “It was quite a trip. I can’t believe they pay us money to play a kid’s game. Thank goodness I was good at it. I only got a high school education and I had to cheat to get that. Who knows what I would have done without baseball. I was just a poor old country boy. For the longest time I even thought the last words of the national anthem were ‘play ball’.”
